Dear Friends,
No, this hasn’t been the first time he has threatened to leave me (that’s why I didn’t quite believe him). Our marriage has been rocky for the past 20 years…I have never really told anyone what really happens in our marriage. And to some degree, I guess I never will. Some things cannot be put into words…the pain that is suffered through, the hurt that is endured. However, I know that my Heavenly Father has seen everything that has happened…He has heard every word that has been spoken.
I don’t know if we will get back together (I guess you were wondering that too)…There are a lot of things I am uncertain about right now. All I know to do is keep telling myself “God has a plan for you Cherie, even in this…and His plan is good.” I have to tell myself that quite often…my emotions don’t believe my mouth yet. That’s where faith has to step in…that’s where we should live right? In Faith? The bible tells us in 2 Corinthians 5:7 “We live by faith, not by sight.” Well, it has been an incredible challenge!
What I “see” often overpowers my faith at times. I get so lost in the overpowering effect of my sight…how do I overcome that? How do I look past the utter hopelessness of my marriage? How do I peer beyond the financial struggle I am experiencing? How do I stare into a brighter future when everything feels so dark? How do I glance at my children knowing they are hurting desperately as well?
I’ll tell you what I do…I shut my eyes! I close them as tight as I possibly can and dig deep into my spirit (which is the spirit of God…1 Corinthians 3:16)…to that place that knows, that it knows, that it knows that God is going to make everything better. That place where in the deep recesses of my soul, I find peace because I have seen God work in my life before. That place where the river of Life is flowing in me…I close my eyes tightly and picture myself kneeling before that flowing river and taking a drink.
Now, I’m not saying that I shut my eyes so I won’t have to deal with what’s going on…No! Far from it! I deal with it everyday…but there are times when I need a quick moment to flow into that river and get caught up in its power and become strengthened to keep going…to keep fighting the good fight of faith.
I don’t know where this journey will take me nor do I know where it will end. All I know is that even in this…God has a plan, and it’s a good plan.
In Christ,
Cherie
Life Worth Serving 
Hey there lovely lady. My heart goes out to you and your wonderful children. Your post was so honest and authentic. I pray that God will continue to strengthen and keep you as you walk through this. And yes God has a plan and He’s working, already has worked it out for your good! And u shall live to testify what He has done for you! Continue to stand strong in Him for in Him can we trust. Lifting you and your family up in prayer.
Your sister in Christ,
La Toya
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I continue to stand LaToya…and when I stumble and fall….I brush off the dust and ask God to repair the “boo-boo’s”. It has not been an easy road…but I know that even in this God has a plan…and one day I will look back and be able to thank God for this time.
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I am so sorry to hear what you have been and are going through, Cherie. We are all hurting people, some more than others, and we need to be there for each other and continue to encourage each other and continue to stay close to God, because he does have a plan for our lives and he will work all things out for good. Thanks for sharing your heart with us. I will keep you in my prayers. Even though we live far away from each other and have never met, I feel you are my friend, my friend and sister in Christ, and one day we will meet in heaven and I will give you a big hug and we will feast together at the marriage supper. Love in Christ, Barbara
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Thank you Barbara! We are all in one form or another hurting people and that is why we need each other. Thank you for your prayers and I look forward to being at the feast sitting with all my loved ones and friends dining with the Lord!
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Cherie,
THanks for sharing. I’m so sorry to hear the pain and hurt you and your family are going through. You all will certainly be in my prayers. The Lord does have a plan for you and it will be bigger and better than anything you could have expected. He will be with you through it all!!
Love,
Patti
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Oh my beautiful sister! I love you so much and my heart breaks for you and your family. In this wonderful dysfunction that we call life, there are so many schemes of the enemy that come at us like fiery darts. I stand with you in prayer, putting on the full armor of our mighty God and we will stand! Call me!
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